Nobody asked me, but…

With apologies to Jimmy Cannon…nobody asked me, but…

  • I don’t use the Italian names (“venti, grande”) when I order coffee at Starbucks. I ask for a large decaf coffee–I let the counterperson (“barista”) translate my order into Starbucks speak.
  • Beleaguered Harvard University president Larry Summers won’t last until the Ides of March (see here). The media leaks from the University’s governing board (the Harvard Corporation) are the equivalent of throwing chum in shark-infested waters.
  • Should the words “good” and “taste” ever appear in the same sentence as “costume” and “ice dancing”? The Winter Olympics Authenticity Award goes to the Italian pair who glared at each other after a tumble. They have my vote.
  • Why do the announcers on National Public Radio all sound like they want to play the part of Katherine Hepburn or Cary Grant from a 1940s high society film? Who talks like that? Is there an American (outside of the People’s Republic of Cambridge) with an accent anything close to that of NPR’s upper crusters?
  • A Supreme Court nominee in 2035 will have to step aside because of a compromising posting on their college Facebook page.
  • Kobe Bryant may be leading the NBA in scoring, but if I’m starting a team tomorrow, LeBron James is my first pick. He makes every player around him better, and in last night’s All Star game that was evident.
  • I think you’d get even money on whether the Rolling Stones will stop touring before the Feds capture fugitive South Boston mafia boss Whitey Bulger. (The other paper in my hometown, the Boston Herald, has been running excerpts from Howie Carr’s book on the “hunt” for Whitey Bulger).
  • When I first read John Perkins’ ”Confessions of an Economic Hit Man” (profiled in the Sunday New York Times), why was I reminded of all those books proving that the CIA, organized crime, Texas oil interests or shadowy government agencies assassinated President Kennedy? Look for Oliver Stone to buy the movie rights.
  • If they gave Academy Awards for best casting, wouldn’t the latest version of “Pride and Prejudice” win hands down?
  • Remember when Krispy Kreme Doughnuts stock was a sure thing? No longer. You know you’re in trouble when you are compared to the Hard Rock Café.

Copyright © 2006 Jefferson Flanders
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